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  • 29 Dec 2016
    This time around, the adoption process has not gone anything like our previous experience. During the pregnancy of the twins, our birth mother was in jail and things went smoothly. I know that is funny to say but in all honesty, being in jail was the best thing for all parties. It forced our birth mother to receive prenatal care. It forced her to see a doctor regularly. It meant that she would have to follow through with the committment to place her babies with us. This time around, our birth mother (no longer in jail) has not been diligent with her doctor appointments at all, which puts a lot of stress on us as the adoptive parents. In fact, it wasn't until last week or so (month 6) that she saw a real life doctor for an ultra sound and I'm not talking about Doc McStuffins. I'm talking the real deal. Thankfully, she (our birth mother) is doing great and the baby is healthy. Oh yeah, we found our that the baby is no longer a boy. Well I guess she was never a he but that is what we had been told so in mid-March 2017, we will be welcoming our THIRD daugther into the world. Obviously, the only thing that matters is a healthy baby but once we had been told it was a boy, the mental preparations started...we had picked out an awesome (I think) name, started taking inventory of boy hand-me-downs from Coss, etc. Time to start over.   DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY NAME SUGGESTIONS???
    741 Posted by Michael Richmond
Domestic Adoption 629 views Dec 05, 2016
Adoption, Is It For Me?

Adoption is not for everyone. I will say it again because it is okay...adoption is not for everyone. If we are being honest, and I might as well because this is my blog, I never thought it was for me. Don't get me wrong, I had always loved kids but I had never even considered adoption. How could I love someone else's child as my own? Not for me. Let me give you the reader's digest of our journey, from my point of view. 

Over 4 years ago, prior to finding out Rachel was pregnant with Hudson, we starting taking the classes to become certified as Foster Parents. I wasn't overly enthusiastic about it but I agreed to take the 6 week course to appease my wife. After all, I wasn't committing to foster care but merely taking the classes. I had faked my way through classes countless times in my life so this wouldn't be too difficult. Once the classes started, it was a huge eye opener to me. Unless you are confronted with the cold hard facts regarding these children, it can be easy to casually ignore it. For me, a seed was planted. I think it was around the 2nd or 3rd class that we found out Rachel was pregnant and we both agreed that the timing wasn't right and that it would be too difficult to foster and bring a newborn baby into this world. For me, it was almost an out, an excuse not to continue. Rachel knew better; this was more of a pause in our journey versus a cancellation. 

After Hudson had turned two, God started knocking on our hearts a bit more but this time, He was stearing us towards adoption. Again, I proceeded slowly while Rachel was all in. I figured that worst case scenario, I spend a few thousand dollars to get the paperwork squared away but ultimately, I wasn't committing to anything permanent. We ended up getting matched with a sweet young 17 year old (I will call her D for privacy) out of OH. The moment that D choose our family to eventually raise her baby and Rachel had a chance to speak to her, God took away all of my reservations. The financial concern? Gone. We would figure out a way (He would provide). The concern about the change in dynamic to our current household? Gone. He took all of my concerns, doubts, etc. and put them on His shoulders. They were no longer mine. Fast forward, D ended up delivering the baby at approximately 22 weeks and she swiftly left for Heaven. I never questioned God or really tried to figure out the WHY but rather just trusted that it was His plan. Perhaps He saved this baby from future medical problems. Perhaps this was an opportunity to open up my heart for adoption and lead me to this ministry. Perhaps this sweet birthmom needed someone to show her love and lead us to her (we still talk to her to this day). While some might consider walking in blind faith hard to do, for me it was easy. I. Just. Trusted.

Now I am thinking that our adoption doors were closing but Rachel had other plans. We ended up getting chosen by a birthmother who was expecting twins. Again, as someone living in the flesh, I had the same concerns as I had before except everything was DOUBLED. The finances, nearly twice as much. The amount of attention required, doubled. Once we committed to moving forward, our God took all of those burdens off of my heart. Like instantly. Those twins, Quinn and Coss, are 16 months old now and I couldn't imagine our lives without them. I love them as if they were born of my flesh and there are times I feel silly when thinking back about some of my hesitations. 

I am done with adoption. I am sure of it. I mean, I was sure of it. Until God came calling again, this time in the form of our attorney, notifying us that the twins birthmother was pregnant again. My wife said yes. I was HEAVILY leaning No. I had all of the same concerns again (you would think I would have learned by now but I'm definitely thick headed). We had a deadline to make a decision. While God's timing is always perfect, to me, it felt as if it was the 11th hour...technically it could be considered overtime because He broke me down and changed my mind 3 hours after I was supposed to touch base with the attorney. Once I committed and followed God's calling, I was overcome with a sense of peace. 

Am I scared, sure. Nervous, heck yeah. Excited, definitely (we picked out a really cool name). Adoption is life changing. Some people would point to the obvious and say that it is the life of the child that has been changed, for the better. I would argue that we are the ones that have benefited and been changed. We have been trusted to raise these babies. We get an opportunity to support a woman or couple that has made the most selfless decision of all. 

Adoption isn't for everyone. It is a crazy rollarcoaster. Lots of ups and downs but I can promise you that if you do decide it is for you, you will not regret it for one second. I know I haven't